Whirlwind

The title of this entry says it all.  So much happened.  So much is still happening. These past couple of weeks or so have been much to bear. Spending nearly 2 weeks having to manage 3 asshole children that aren't mine. Trying to keep a house in check and whatever else bullshit happens to arise. I am by no means undermining the shit they went through from breakdown after breakdown and drama shit. But you don't get to choose and that I didn't struggle. Ever. I AM NO ONES SLAVE. I will not have assumptions  or decisions made on my behalf without my consent. I'm over the fucking drinking. Quit being an asshole. There are now 3 addicts in the house. Fuck your drinking and get up. I am sick and tired of feeling like my feelings don't matter.  I am sick and tired of being accused of me having an attitude problem.  You 2 decide to quit whenever you don't feel like it for whatever reason and we all have to just deal with it.  Anytime someone calls it out, meaning me, all of sudden I am bitching.  WTF.  Right now, one is drunk, again, on the couch, not giving a fat fuck about what's going on around them, and the other, is back in bed because they don't feel good.  Seriously, shall I quit and not tell anyone? Wait until you get phone calls that kids haven't been picked up?  Forget to feed everyone?  Make everyone start wearing dirty clothes?  I want to quit to.  Every day I think about not getting up.  But I still fucking do.  I don't make an excuse.  I'm tired.  I'm exhausted.  You have no right to belittle my daily struggles.  The world is turned upside enough already.  There is no need for any of you to try and make it spin faster.  I am an equal.  I am a partner.  I will not be looked at and treated otherwise.  I can be petty like you. Shall I start?  What are you teaching every one?  You are showing other addicts in the house that you have no will power and no desire to be better by doing what you do.  You have no interest in being better.  It's easier for you just to be a sack of whatever than to actually better yourself.  Endless amounts of money has been spent on junk you don't need or use.  With the desire to continue.  You bitch about how you feel yet do nothing to make a change.  You want to lose weight but don't exercise.  You want to increase your energy by changing your diet, but stuff junk down your throat.  You had to have supplements that supposedly guarantee you to help start losing weight, yet they have remained untouched and unopened for 2 months.  You change things without anyone's knowledge.  You are inconsiderate and hide those inconsiderate things behind other actions that you think are considerate.  You hide your drinking like a child and think that we are foolish enough to not notice.  OH NO...you put it outside on the shelf, how will we ever know???  Get your shit together.  Grow a pair and be better.