Self-loathe

My hate for myself and the world around continues to grow more and more. Doing this relieves nothing. Just allows to get thoughts or and organized to read later. Doesn't stop them from screaming in my ear. I'm tired, physically and mentally of being at and not talked with. I'm a person. Not an animal. I'm human. I make mistakes. Same as anyone. Same as you. Even if you don't want me to. It truly hurts me when you accuse people of just not doing as you say and essentially disobeying you. And then calling people children so they can fit inside this box of convenience so it makes it easier to fuel your argument. You believe down to your core, that I'm deliberately wronging you. That would seem to suggest that I would get some sort of benefit by doing so. How is this a benefit? Being talked to like this. You've had someone intentionally brush you and everyone's feelings aside but and the end of the day, it's whatever right? If i do something that goes against whatever decision that you made either in your head or in passing, it then becomes grounds for the start of a new world war. My very being aches recalling what you have said. 

What's worse is that you believe there is no way a person could have made a honest mistake. If it had been anyone else, you would have dropped it or you wouldn't bother. Pointing a finger saying that I keep doing it. It's happened before. Granted a month ago over an appointment and talking a child to school and then picking up for appointment. You never said anything about keeping him home until appointment. Furthermore he had another appointment not long later of which you sent to school to be picked up. I clarified more than once that way there would not be any confusion. His appointment time was even earlier than the first one so he wouldn't even be at school for very long until he needed to be picked up. So the mindset isn't even consistent. WTH? But again, you had it your mind, this is what I want. Doesn't matter what the instance is, whether you say anything aloud or not, you are never in the wrong. We all must concede. You won't have a conversation. It has to be a fight. You have to acknowledge that these beings around you that are human, have faults. You have faults. You are not above anyone. You are not perfect. I am not perfect. Someone making a mistake is not a hostile action or to be construed as some sort of move to establish dominance or defiance. Sometimes things happen. I could say you deliberately feel and severed you Achilles. But would that make it true? I could say that you are faking being helpless and limited to a wheel chair. But that doesn't make it true either. And yes, me examples are far more serious of things that shouldn't be taken lightly, but that doesn't stop some people from still doing so. I don't assume the worst about you. I would expect the same. I want to believe that you wouldn't intentionally hurt or belittle a person. It accomplishes nothing. Talking at people, accomplishes nothing. Talking with people and communicating, can make a world of difference. You've gotten worse about assuming the worst of people. Making more and more assumptions on their behalf. STOP.  

You speak to people as if they are stupid. And then blame others that we are projecting that ourselves because of our own guilt. I'm not made of stone, even though sometimes I wish I was. I end up hating myself more and more and feeling less of a person because I start to believe what you are telling me. Even though I know it isn't true. I cry myself to sleep sometimes thinking about all these things that run through my head. Replaying things over and over. Stop thinking that people are only our to wrong you.